How common is divorce and what are the reasons?

In the United States, researchers estimate that 40%–50% of all first marriages, and 60% of second marriages, will end in divorce. There are some well known factors that put people at higher risk for divorce: marrying at a very early age, less education and income, living together before marriage, a premarital pregnancy, no religious affiliation, coming from a divorced family, and feelings of insecurity. The most common reasons people give for their divorce are lack of commitment, too much arguing, infidelity, marrying too young, unrealistic expectations, lack of equality in the relationship, lack of preparation for marriage, and abuse. Some of these problems can be fixed and divorce prevented. Commitment is having a long-term view of the marriage that helps us not get overwhelmed by the problems and challenges day to day. When there is high commitment in a relationship, we feel safer and are willing to give more for the relationship to succeed. Commitment is clearly a factor in why some couples stay together and others divorce. Divorce is necessary at times, and it may even help to preserve the moral boundaries of marriage. But parents have a responsibility to do all that they reasonably can to preserve and repair a marriage, especially when the reasons for divorce are not the most serious ones. Barriers to leaving a marriage, such as financial worries, can keep marriages together in the short run. However, unless there is improvement in the relationship, eventually the barriers are usually not enough to keep a marriage together in the long run.

Source:

- Suzanne M. Bianchi et al., “Housework: Who Did, Does, or Will Do It, and How Much Does It Matter?” Social Forces 91 (2012): 55–63, doi: 10.1093/sf/sos120.

- Abbie E. Goldberg. “‘Doing’ and ‘Undoing’ Gender: The Meaning and Division of Housework in SameSex Couples,” Journal of Family Theory & Review 5 (2013): 85–104, doi: 10.1111/jftr.12009.

- Human Rights Campaign, “Judge Overturns Order to Disclose Documents Detailing Publication of Regnerus’ Junk Science,” news release, April 17, 2014, http://www.hrc.org/press-releases/entry/ judge-overturns-order-to-disclose-documents-detailing-publication-of-regner.